The essence of emotion management in relationship management

Let's start today's entry by saying that there is no such thing as a bad emotion. All emotions are important and necessary (more in this post). Each has its place and serves something different. Aggression? A very important emotion that (like ANY emotion) should not be given up or suppressed. In addition to the obvious task - survival behavior in extreme situations - it mainly serves to set boundaries and defend them in relationships between people. I will elaborate on the topic in the following parts of this post.

Managing your emotions intelligently means skillfully directing them so that you stay in control and maintain emotional balance. If you can do this, it will be a positive experience for both you and those around you.

I have encapsulated themanagement of emotions in three different points, I think they form a kind of "roadmap" in controlling them effectively.

Allow yourself to have emotions

Traditional education and upbringing almost never teaches you how to manage your emotions. Instead, it tries to hammer into your head the notion that there are feelings and emotions that you should never experience. For example, they tell you that crying or showing fear doesn't solve anything and should be nipped in the bud. These "frames" are most often set for us by our parents, and the child tries his whole life to fit into them. However, managing one's emotions must not be about suppressing them, but about steering them in the right direction.

Ok, but how does this relate to relationships with others? Well, by allowing ourselves the emotions that we all experience, we definitely become more empathetic. Learning that we don't have identical "frames", and that everyone has their own and reacts in their own way, teaches patience, forbearance, and true humility

Observe. Look around you.

Allowing all emotions into ourselves, we have a great opportunity to look into them, to find out where our reactions and behaviors come from. In relationships with others, we actually show ourselves. We see our reflection in others, and what irritates us is a reflection of our own qualities.

Understanding this in a relationship with another person will allow us to "start with ourselves." People who understand this can meet again "at the table" with a completely different attitude, which in that case is doomed to success!

The only right view

The only right view of emotions is a critical view. It is a common belief that emotions arise in a purely mechanical way and we have no influence on them. They are merely interpretations of perceived reality, which sometimes have a solid basis, but sometimes not.

Sometimes they are the result of correct reasoning, and at other times completely wrong beliefs. For example, we may consider "automatically" that something is too difficult for us, even unfeasible. We can also approach the issue in such a way that it is an opportunity for us and try to treat it as one that is within our capabilities. By slowly and calmly performing the activity, we may actually find that we can handle it after all. This kind of breaking down the task into stages and focusing on each component in turn is a great cue for managers to help their team members.